I'm venting my feelings.

"We're stuck in a whole filled with our fate.

I know we're gunna die, I just can't wait."

I'm actually going to start writing blogs again. They help me vent, a lot. Today started out as a day like any other. I came to school, smelt every boy in my cult and was happy for most of the day. Then Alicia tells me news that brings me down to a new low, since Terry. I cried, she held me. She is my best friend. I'm a total bitch during American Literature and Human Behavior. **Sorry to the people in there. I skipped out 14th mod, with my girlfriends, Jakob and Eric. Brittani, Jake and Eric went to his van, me and Kennedy talked. I told her my issues and how badly I needed a smoke, she held me while I cried. She is also my best friend. I needed my Johnnie by this time, so I called. He couldn't exit, 'twas sad. I found a death stick and light that shit up quick. Johnnie came, along with Jasmine and Alicia. For the last time tonight I started to tear up, Johnnie soothes my soul. He is my best friend. I smoke some more with Alicia and Jasmine. Eric had returned by this time, he missed his detention, what a bad ass right? But my dad called and I had to go over to the school again. I held Eric's hand, surprisingly I forgot all about my troubles. He's got an amazing smile. My dad showed up and I had to give him his jacket back, with my phone in it's pocket. Damn my stoner memory. So no phone tonight. Oh well, totally worth it. I'm home now and for some reason, on the way home I kept hoping me and my dad would hit somebody is his big ass truck. It would be amusing and probably make my day. No matter how hard I try I can't help but think there's something wrong with me. I just wanna know what's not good enough. Someone tell me, so it doesn't effect anything else in my life, I can't change it if I don't know what it is. It's driving me crazy and I have to know. Tell me why I'm never good enough? I realize this is a little emo and I'd really like it if you didn't judge. I had a bad day and this is my blog so I can be emo all I want too.

Backstabbing Bitch.

I see you, oh but honey you won't see me.

And when you turn the corner

You'll meet the cement, just like the rest.

You'll cry and scream when I rip your heart out of your chest.

Try and break me now.

You're a backstabbing bitch, don't try to deny.

You got that nasty whore look that's always in your eyes.

Oh honey, you'll pay, for the shit you've done,

I'm going to kill you, like God killed his own son.

I'll play with your guts and cut out your ears

Because baby, I just don't care.

I'm gunna dissect your brain,

And I'm gunna fuck with your thoughts.

I'll show you things you can't be taught.

You're a backstabbing bitch, don't try to deny.

You got that nasty whore look that's always in your eyes.

Oh honey, you'll pay, for the shit you've done,

I'm going to kill you, like God killed his own son.

Bitch I'm going to break your legs,

I'm going to rip out your spine.

Everything that was once yours, is now all mine.

I loved you once, I won't make that mistake again,

Just don't forget you WERE my best friend.

I Have Nothing.

I feel no fear, I have no pain.

No one can break me like he can.

His eyes, his face, his walk, his talk.

They all bring me to my knees.

No one can break me like he can.

He tells me his secrets, he'll play my games.

But he won't give me his heart.

He says that I don't know how to be, just him and me.

What he doesn't know is that for him I'd try.

I feel no fear, I have no pain.

No one can break me like he can.

His eyes, his face, his walk, his talk.

They all bring me to my knees.

No one can break me like he can.

No one can break me like he can.

I can't play this game anymore,

He's got me wrapper around his finger.

I can't help but love him, he's everything.

And when he leaves I'll have nothing.

Vanessa.

Tied with a rope of a thousand screams

Vanessa pleads, Vanessa screams, Vanessa get on her knees.

She's losing her mind, catching her breath.

What will she do when he gets back with that net?

Vanessa loves him not, he knows this now.

She'll cry, she'll scream, she'll pay for what she's done.

She knows now she can't do this to Satan's son.

She flips and she flaps trying to run,

Oh but she knows she can't outrun his gun.

Brought down by bullets to quick to see,

Vanessa pleads one more time on her fuckin' knees.

Vanessa loves him not, he knows this now.

She'll cry, she'll scream, she'll pay for what she's done.

She knows now she can't do this to Satan's son.

Standing over his dear Vanessa he starts to cry.

She's not moving, she's not pleading, she's ready to die.

Wiping his eyes, he raised his gun pulling the trigger,

The deed was finally done.

She knows now she can't do this to Satan's son.

Goodbye Vanessa.